Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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