Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
