ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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