ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
