every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
