Porn is love you can see.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
