Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
