Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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