kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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