If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
