So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
