lets start a swedish sibling band together
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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