It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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