I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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