He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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