my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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