He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
me + whiskey = a bad person
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
