im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
sex in a hospital.. check
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
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