...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
