Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize