You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I touched a dick in church today
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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