Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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