My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
