she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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