It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
