Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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