Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
