HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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