the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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