I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
