Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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