do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize