DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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