when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
How does one acquire holy water?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
