I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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