she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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