Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Randomize
