I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He kissed a someone with a penis
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
