Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
