Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
