what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize