their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
