everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
