You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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