Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
