He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
North Korea, Best Korea!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I am one with the molecules
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
