never play flip cup with pint glasses
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
