Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
