nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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