I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
