I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
