are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
