I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
operation have a gay friend backfired
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
