she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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