its not stalking. its research.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize