it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
