best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
