I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
