He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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