So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
