At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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